


The Story You Didn't Know You Wanted To Hear

by ObsessedObsesser



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Humanstuck, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-10-15
Updated: 2013-10-15
Packaged: 2017-12-29 11:48:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1005071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ObsessedObsesser/pseuds/ObsessedObsesser
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your name is Karkat Vantas and you hate your best friend.<br/>Fucking Captor and his weak immune system. Because the shit got sick, you’re now stuck babysitting a loser who doesn’t know how to fucking code.<br/>Well, okay, it’s actually called tutoring instead of babysitting. And you don’t know how to code yourself. But still – you fucking hate Sollux and you blame him for your sucky life at the moment.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Story You Didn't Know You Wanted To Hear

**Author's Note:**

> I have no clue how long this will turn out to be. But I have plans for this. Big plans! Big, evil little plans that involve sex and drama and shit going down.
> 
> Next chapter will probably have Dave and Sollux. But anyways, enjoy! I'm sorry for any errors.

Your name is Karkat Vantas and you hate your best friend. 

Fucking Captor and his weak immune system. Because the shit got sick, you’re now stuck babysitting a loser who doesn’t know how to fucking code.

Well, okay, it’s actually called tutoring instead of babysitting. And you don’t know how to code yourself. But still – you fucking hate Sollux and you blame him for your sucky life at the moment. 

You’re doing this because you need the money. It’s not like your father has enough money for you with your stupid older brother trying to go away to college next year. But coding can’t be that hard though, right? 

Right?

…..

Shit. You’re so screwed. Why did you agree to this? And you can’t even turn back now. You just took like two buses to get here and the next one doesn’t come for another hour. God. You don’t even know whom you’re tutoring; you’re just praying it’s not Strider. You wouldn’t put it pass Sollux to make you tutor him. Even the thought of that douchebag makes you cringe. 

But whoever they are, they’re rich. Their entire neighborhood is fucking rich. The street is lined with huge, white houses, white picket fences surrounding each one; it was weird to see how the other side lived. 

As you walk you keep your eyes down on the ground, only looking up to see the house numbers. You didn’t feel at place here. It’s like the fucking American dream and it literally makes you feel like you’re going to throw up in that rose bush over there. 

Again you remind yourself that it’s too late to turn back. 

You finally stop in front of one of the most extravagant house on the street. Number 413. You knock on the door and wait, not even bothering with the doorknocker – is that what it’s called? Do people really have those still? What was this, the fucking 90’s? 

You decide that you’re just going to give this douchebag a few minutes of your precious time to leave you waiting and then you’re going to leave because why the fuck did you agree to this again. Who cares if you have to wait a long time for the bus. Either way, the asshole would be lucky. The only thing you’re good at on the computer is finding the caps lock key and typing about 85 words per minute. Okay, well, you also know Word because what high school kid wouldn’t? That shit is basic stuff. A fucking baby can use Word. 

Right as you’re about to turn around and leave, the door swings open and you’re face to face with John Egbert. He frowns for a second, “You’re not Sollux.” he says before beaming a moment later, “Oh, right. He told me he was sick. Sorry. You’re Karkat! Hi, I’m John!” 

Fuck. 

Just great. Just. Fucking. Great. Thank you, Sollux. Thank you so fucking much. You get the extreme-peppy-good-looking-kid from homeroom. Yes. Thank you. Thank. You. 

You scowl at him, ignoring his now outstretched hand and moving your way inside. “I know who you are, shitstain. I sit like two seats behind you in homeroom – Which is horrible for me because I have to stare at your fucking abnormally large head every single day.” 

Your words didn’t faze him though, he just continued beaming his stupid white tooth smile and followed you inside. You hear the door close and then he’s in front of you. “Oh right! I remember now. No wonder you looked familiar. Dave talks about you sometimes too. Sorry…Again.” He laughs – actually it’s more like a giggle. Guh. Did he really just fucking giggle? You hate him so much more than you previously did because of how cute that made him. “It’s up this way,” he continued, moving towards the long stairway heading upstairs. You blink at it, remembering how out of place you felt earlier. Everything here is so…rich. According to people at school, John and his father got the money from his grandmother or someone like that. Maybe it his great-grandmother. Who knows? You just knew it had something to deal with baking. You couldn’t care less. 

Following him up the stairs you try not to stare at John’s extremely unattractive ass that seems to be in your face. Your eyes dart automatically to the stairs below your feet, focusing on not tripping up them while you curse Sollux in your head. You’re going to call him up afterwards and give the fucking asshole a piece of your mind, curse his entire family, anything to make him feel the pain that you’re probably going to be put through. 

As you enter his room behind him a second later, slightly winded from running up the stairs behind John, your eyes are automatically drawn to the posters covering his light blue walls. It actually wasn’t what you were expecting. 

Seeing John around school you were expecting him to have picture of naked women up on his walls but…he doesn’t. It’s just lame-ass movie posters. Really? He has a fucking Failure to Launch poster up? You blink at it, judging his poor movie taste before finally looking back at the kid himself. He was watching you with his bright blue eyes. 

Oh. Apparently he asked you a question.

“Uh…What?” You say. He smiles though before moving to sit down on his computer chair. 

“I asked if you wanted to get started, dumbass.” He tilts his head towards the chair next to him, motioning to it as he continues to smile in your direction. 

You drop your bag on the floor and make your way towards the chair. Once sitting down you move it just slightly closer to the other. This was probably the closest you have ever been to John Egbert. You could even smell him. He smelt like…fresh bakery goods. 

Shaking your head a little you made yourself concentrate. 

“So…how do you do this with Sollux?” you ask, looking at his computer screen. Currently it had some kind of program running that you had seen Sollux using before. You never really payed attention to your best friends coding hobby which you’re going of regretting now. 

“I don’t know. Mostly Sollux just told me what to do instead of actually teaching me. He isn’t exactly a great tutor.” John shrugged, his long, slender fingers tapping out a tune on his desk idly. 

“Yeah. You don’t have to tell me twice. At least he’s not teaching you English. With his fucking annoying lisp you would probably not underthand what he’th thaying motht of the timeth and end up failing out of high school.” You finished off with mimicking the other’s lisp and unintentionally making John laugh. 

“Yeah. But it’s pretty funny most of the times.” John grinned. “Sometimes I purposely make him repeat stuff he says which has a lot of s’s to piss him off.”

Okay. Maybe Egbert wasn’t so bad. But he wasn’t entirely pleasant either. You still hated him and his perfect…everything. Seriously. You see this kid always laughing and smiling around school. He’s even the fucking student body president. How could someone be that perfect? And just look at his shining black hair and white as fuck teeth and perfect nose and –

“Pissing Sollux off is one of everyone’s favorite things to do.” You mutter before saying, “But anyways, why don’t you show me what you know how to do so far?” You’re stalling but hey, maybe it’ll work and he’ll think you’re a brilliant tutor and even tip you.

John just shrugs and then his fingers move flawlessly over his keyboard. You remember seeing a piano as you were trying not to stare at John ass coming up the stairs. You vaguely wonder if he plays but are then jostled out of your thoughts when a noise comes from the computer. John’s looking at you again and you look back at him. “Congratulations. Maybe you have learnt something from Sollux.” 

John furrows his brows at you and then looks back to the computer. He looks back at you again and then says, “This was the opposite of what I wanted to do, silly. I wanted to get that thing there,” he pointed at a…what the fuck was that? “To move over there. So, tell me, tutor, how do you do it correctly?” he beamed again. 

Well fuck. 

John rolls his chair to the side just slightly to give you more room. You wheel over hesitantly before placing your fingers on the warm keyboard. You type anything, trying to remember something from when you’re flicking Sollux’s forehead while trying to distract your friend from his computer. In the end you fail. You have no fucking clue what you did. You just got that annoying bonging sound that marks your immanent failure. Oh and look, you just made the situation worse. 

You hear snickering from beside you and you frown as you look at John. “What the fuck are you laughing at, you douchebagging fuckwad?” 

“You have no clue what you’re doing, do you?” 

“Well you don’t either so you can’t exactly judge me.” Your comment just makes John laugh again and you scowl at the black haired boy. 

John reaches over and closes the program, still laughing softly. “Wasn’t judging you. I just haven’t seen someone suck so bad at something since Dave tried to sing Happy Birthday to me to the tune of the Macarena.” 

“I don’t even want to know that story.” You grumble. “I don’t even know why I wasted my time when I knew it wasn’t going to work out anyways. I’ll go now. Just, if Sollux asks you how I did, tell him I was the best fucking tutor of all time and rocked your perfect little world.” You roll your eyes as you move off the chair, only to be stopped by John grabbing your wrist. 

“Hey, I didn’t say I wanted you to leave.” He was frowning just slightly. “Actually, it would be kind of nice to hang out with someone. I’ve been busy doing homework all weekend and Dave’s not answering any of my calls. The lame-ass is probably off being ironic with his dorky shades.” He laughed again softly, rolling his eyes. “We could watch a movie or something? I noticed you looking at my posters.”

 

“What? Why would I be looking at your lame baby posters? I never knew you had such shitty taste, Egbert. I bet you haven’t even heard of Will Smith. You’re probably that fucking uncultured.” 

“Hey. My movies are cool, all right? And I have heard of Will Smith. He’s just not as awesome as Nicholas Cage.” John replied, looking offended.

You scoff, “Nicholas Cage? You’re fucking kidding me.” At John’s serious face you groaned. “Wow. Okay. No. You’re letting me pick a good movie if this is happening because I’m not letting you make me sit through a shitty two and a half hour catastrophe you call entertainment.” 

John brightened up once he realized you were staying and you had to roll your eyes again. Maybe you wouldn’t teach this moron coding but you sure as hell would teach him to have a better taste in movies.

You ended up watching the first Ghostbusters movie since it was the least suckiest of his movies. He did have a good collection though, you’d give the idiot that. And maybe not all of his movies sucked. You’d never tell Egbert that though. It would probably go to his large head anyways. 

You both were fairly quiet through the movie though. You both sometimes commented on lame effects and the cheesy lines but all in all, it was still a good movie. You’ve seen it about fifty times. Once in a while you would even look at John from the corner of your eye and see that he was smiling stupidly at the screen at some of the funny parts. It was kind of cute actually but you quickly changed that thought from going any further. 

You felt your phone vibrate in your pocket about three quarters of the movie but ignored it once you saw it was Sollux. The movie was getting to the good part anyways. You would talk to him later; maybe he’d think you’re such a good tutor that you’re working over time. Yeah, that’ll be your excuse – mostly to just see the fuckers expression. 

Once the movie finished and the credits started rolling John looked at you. “Look! You made it through one of my movies!” he grinned. 

“Well no shit. I’m the one who chose it and anyways, who doesn’t like Ghostbusters? Bill Murray is a fucking legend.”

“He’s alright.” John snickered. 

You just narrow your eyes at him, “You’re just asking for me to punch you in the face now, aren’t you, Egbert?” 

“Hey. I’m paying you, if you hit me you won’t get your money.” John teased, his dorky smile still on his stupid face.

You blink, confused, “What. Egbert. I know you’re stupid since you’re getting tutored by Sollux Captor of all people but I didn’t fucking teach you anything. I’m not even considered a tutor. I just basically watched a movie with you.”

John shrugged, “It’s fine. I’ll probably buy more lame ass movies with it.” He teased, his eyes sparkling behind his glasses. 

You roll your eyes, “See, if I knew tutoring was this easy I would have been doing this all the while. Watching movies at home is basically what I do all day, could have been making money all this time.” 

You hear a snort beside you before John reaches into his pocket and hands out thirty dollars. “Here, take it.” 

You look at the other boy before looking down at the money. God. You really need the money but…

You sigh and move to close John’s fingers back around his money, “Keep it, Egbert. The only thing I need from you right now is to lie for me and tell Sollux how great I was. That would be payment enough.” 

John smiles again before looking down at your hand over his. You follow his gaze and then quickly withdraw your hand. He laughs and places the money back in his pocket. “Will do – but only because you’re a great movie watching buddy.” 

You snort softly before reaching for your bag, getting up after doing so. “Look, I better be going. Have to catch the bus.” John stands up also and it hits you how close you both are. You move back just slightly and then head for John’s bedroom door, the boy following behind you. You both were quiet as you did so but you didn’t mind much since you were lost in thought anyways. 

Once at the door he opens it for you and you look back, as you open your mouth he interrupts you, “It was nice seeing you again, Karkat. Hopefully my abnormally large head won’t distract you again in class tomorrow.” He smirks and shit was that a good look on him. 

You roll your eyes, “Whatever, Egbert. Go finish your homework and make daddy proud. And tell your best friend to go fuck himself when you have the chance.” 

He snorts, “Will do. I’ll…talk to you later.” He smiles and waves as you turn and head down the steps. You look back around once you’re just outside the driveway and see him still at the door. You turn your attention back to the floor quickly, watching your feet as you walk towards the way of the bus stop. 

When you’re just a street away from the bus you see said bus coming down the street and then…not stopping at the stop since no one was there.

You sigh.

Fuck Sollux. Fuck John Egbert. Fuck everything.


End file.
